Facebook Mayhem
by Racing the Sunrise
Summary: A little comic relief for all of my morbid stories. It is more than just a twilight cross; everyone Brit and I could stick in is in. We've got HP, Twilight, Pirates, Sweeney Todd, Batman, and even War of the Worlds. It's hilerious!


-Okay peoples, here's some comic relief for you. I hope you get what I'm doing before Brittany does. (She's a little slow) This was written on Facebook chat, so there are issues (a lot). All of this is (mostly) unedited but extremely funny. Or, if you didn't find it funny……sorry you wouldn't fit in with my friends! I suggest not going near them without a shot of pure sugar straight to the veins. You just wouldn't last an hour!

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4:35pmBrittany: Think about Voldemort wearing a pink tutu

4:35pmMe: lol. now were back to giggling

4:36pmBrittany: lmao, I know, right? Just think if he was dancing around, arms poised above his head, his Death Eaters looking all crazy at him, like WTF?

4:37pmMe: lol. then another one comes by in a silver car and runs them all over

4:38pmBrittany: lol, wow. silver car. why am i suddenly thinking that Edward Cullen just ran over a bunch of Death Eaters?

4:39pmMe: lol. he's seeking revenge for killing him in the 4th movie

4:39pmBrittany: ah, I see. was Wormtail in the group of death eaters?

4:40pmMe: No, but then Snape popped up w/ a cane and smacked him w/ it

4:41pmBrittany: smacked Wormtail? lol, is this after they were run over or before?

4:43pmMe: before. Snape was mad cuz Wormtail jumped out of the way. Then Jack Sparrow came up from behind him and jabbed at him with a knife (do u get what im doing?)

4:44pmBrittany: not quite... what? Wait, Jack stabbed Snape or Wormtail?

4:45pmMe: Snape. I'm taking people who played other stuff. Edward popped up cuz he was Cedric, Wormtail played that man in Sweeney Todd with Snape, and Depp played Sparrow and Todd

4:46pmBrittany: oooh, right! okay. well, Will Turner came up and tried to start dancing with Bellatrix

4:48pmMe: lol. and Toby got mad and tried to kill him, but missed

4:49pmBrittany: then Elizabeth was wondering whether to go help Jack or Will

4:50pmMe: lol. r there any other connections?

4:50pmBrittany: i'm thinking

4:50pmMe: umm...

4:50pmBrittany: we could add in some more twilight characters? we've still got a bunch of harry potter characters that could branch off in other areas

4:51pmMe: ya. umm...

4:52pmBrittany: Harry played in equus, Vernon directed equus, lol

4:52pmMe: Bella thought Toby was cute and started hugging him, making Jacob mad.

4:52pmBrittany: lol. I thought you meant Bellatrix. Lol

4:52pmMe: y would Bellatrix hug Toby and make Jacob mad?

4:52pmBrittany: idk. lol, then, of course, Edward starts glaring at Jacob for glaring at Bella or being mad at her, w/e

4:54pmMe: and then Jacob starts acting all badass, which catches the attention of Remis, who thinks he's stupid, and Sirius, who thinks its weird that his last name is Black

4:55pmBrittany: then James and Lily rise from the grave to find out what's going on with their son, who's looking at Edward all dreamy-eyed

4:56pmMe: James can't stop laughing at Sirius's face and Lily can't help but congratulating Harry at figuring out his sexual orientation. Bella gets angry at Harry and Edward just looks confused

….hello? U there?

4:59pmBrittany: then Jacob says "yay, Edward's gay! i can have Bella!" Edward promptly replies "WHAT?"

4:59pmMe: then Cedric rises from the dead, grabs Harry and says "mine!" Ed looks confused, Jacob looks depressed, and Bella's nose starts to bleed cuz she's having fantasies about two Edwards.

5:01pmBrittany: then Voldemort, who had been looking at Edward, Lily, and James, repeatedly yelling "BUT I KILLED THEM!", now stares at Cedric in a bewildered way

5:04pmMe: Sirius gets pissed and starts yelling, which sets everyone off. then blue caterpillar crawls by. Snape moans and mumbles something about bad weed.

5:04pmBrittany: …... who's blue caterpillar?

5:06pmMe: Snape plays the voice for the blue caterpillar in the new Alice in Wonderland

5:08pmBrittany: i didn't know that! that's awesome! lmao... kay... then Emmett pops up and starts talking to Cedric, saying, "Ed come on, the Volturi are coming!"

5:12pmMe: then a huge metal robot stomped out of the forest, chasing Jane. she was grabbed, but held onto Bella and they were both pulled into it. Edward and Jacob started to cry. batman shows up and trips the giant, which lands on the caterpillar and squishes it. Snape starts cheering while Harry looks on in wonder. Gordon walks slowly out of the forest and chases batman away

5:14pmBrittany: (where did batman come from?)

5:14pmMe: well the guy who plays Gordon in batman also plays Sirius Black

5:14pmBrittany: ...okay, which batman and which one is Gordon?

5:15pmMe: the newer one, and Gordon is the cop

5:15pmBrittany: oh, okay! lol, i forgot about that (i've only seen that movie once)

5:16pmMe: lol. what else?

5:16pmBrittany: u know Christian Bale (batman) plays in public enemies with Johnny Depp, right? lol

5:17pmMe: well, lets finish this up.

5:17pmBrittany: lol, okay. so, Oberon comes up and puts a spell over everyone to put them to sleep

5:18pmMe: not that crap again. Lol I thought we were done with A Midsummer's Night Dream!

5:18pmBrittany: lmao, but it's funny! And Bale plays Oberon!

5:18pmMe: ok. Oberon and Titania decided to mess with everyone. and placed spells on them.

5:21pmMe: When they woke, Cedric picked up Harry and carried him off, Snape wondered off, Voldemort ran off to change clothes, Emmett dragged Remis off Jacob, Bella and Edward left, and James Lily Sirius and Remis had a good chat.

5:21pmBrittany: and Renesmee claps her hands to a happy ending

5:21pmMe: lol. i like that.

5:22pmBrittany: hup. lmao, that was supposed to be a 'yup'


End file.
